How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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