What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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9/11 my birthday

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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