Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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