I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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