How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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