What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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