Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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