why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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