Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops