How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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if you don't like this you're gay

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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