What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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