- Anti Joke

George W. Bush

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

The Aristocrats

A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

There are two kinds of people: Those who have a life, and those who read anti-jokes

a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

Johnny just finished his pie.

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _| -' \ '####, ------- /____\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \\\\ || |||| ||// |||| |||| |||| /)/) //// //// ////. .' '. '. (_kOs))

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops