What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

What do apples taste like? Apples.

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

DERP

14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

What's brown a sticky? -A stick

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

I Love Hitler.

You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...