How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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