How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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cool

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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