How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Phew... it's gone.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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