roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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I wonder where the hell Hitler is

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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