- Anti Joke

Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

Yo momma so fat she's obese.

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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