The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

time to spruce up!

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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