What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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