How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

thumb_up thumb_down -22

WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops