Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops