What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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