Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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