A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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