How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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guess what?

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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