Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Hello

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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