I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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