Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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quantum physics?

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops