War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

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why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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Need For Speed 30025 DRIVE OVER 60000 EXTREME CARS OVER 60 BILLION REAL LIFE GRAPHICS TRACKS! WHILE LISTENING TO BULLSHIT SONGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY! NO PAUSE BUTTON! EVERY CAR MUST BE UNLOCKED BY PLAYING THE SAME TRACK (Yeah music track too) OVER AND OVER AGAIN! OVER 6000000 ONLINE GAMERS AT THE SAME TIME WORLDWIDE, EACH TRACK HAS 5000000 THOUSAND LAPS SO THE FUN NEVER ENDS! UNLOCK ALL STUFF DLC: 6000 Bucks. Moral: So I have not been here since I called myself the sociopath or something, who the fuck are these Nero`s and Neronism and all that fuck? :( They almost improved my reputation! THATS HORRIBLE!

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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