A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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