- Anti Joke

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

What do you call a black man? Rob

What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

Cripples are lame.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.