How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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