a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

Whats two plus two Four!

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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