Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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american idol

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops