Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops