why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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