Error 37.

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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WILLYS

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops