What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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