You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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