Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops