what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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360 NO SCOPE

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops