what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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