What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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WILLYS

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Error 37.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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