A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Your mom went to college

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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