A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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