Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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Oh s***

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my wife out of the kitchen

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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