Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What's blue? The sky.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops