what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops