- Anti Joke

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but Human testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

Guess what What

Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

#Getweird

Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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