Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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