Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops